Yoga helps me deal with criticism from family: Caregiver

By Dhwani Verma

Taking care of my elderly father has been both rewarding and challenging. It’s a role I willingly took on, but it comes with its fair share of criticism, especially from family members who might not understand the complexities of caregiving.

When I first started caring for my dad, I was surprised by the amount of criticism I received. Some family members questioned my decisions, while others openly criticized my caregiving methods. At first, it stung. I found myself internalizing their remarks and doubting myself.

But over time, I learned to deal with the criticism in a healthier way. One of the most important lessons I learned was not to take it personally. I reminded myself that most of the time, the criticism wasn’t about me—it was about the person delivering it and their own fears or frustrations.

I also realized that I couldn’t please everyone. No matter what I did, there would always be someone who disagreed with my choices. So instead of trying to win everyone over, I focused on what I believed was best for my Dad and our situation.

Of course, criticism still hurt, but I found ways to cope. I practiced self-care and surrounded myself with supportive friends and family members who understood what I was going through. Yoga especially gave me great inner strength. I felt mentally stronger.

I realised that the best way to deal with criticism was the Yogic way. I am what I am, I tell myself every day. My mind is only an accumulation of what I gather. So, why should I accumulate mean comments?  As one of my friends who does Yoga with me said, “Why do you want to inflict self-injuries?”

But that doesn’t mean I’m a doormat. If someone’s being consistently hurtful, I’ve learned to stand up for myself. I calmly but firmly explain my perspective, and if necessary, remove myself from the situation. One can’t tolerate abusive behaviour beyond a point, even if it comes from family members.

I have come to accept that criticism is like an unwelcome guest at a party – it’s inevitable. It is for me how to deal with this elephant in the room. Sometimes, just putting on a smile, even if it’s forced, does wonders for my mood, and helps me calm down.

Ultimately, at the end of the day, caring for my Dad is my priority, and I’ve come to accept that not everyone will understand or agree with my choices. What matters most is that I’m doing my best to ensure his well-being and comfort. And despite the criticism, the moments of joy and connection with my Dad make it all worthwhile.

Read also:
Don’t let caregiver burnout overwhelm you
Life with my mother who has Alzheimer’s