When our children grow up and our roles change

 By Sunil Saxena

When our children are small, they are our whole world.

We make sure they brush their teeth every morning and every night, eat their food on time, behave well, say please and thank you. We open doors, smooth paths, pave the way for their future.

We are their teacher, their guardian angel, their superhero. Every scraped knee, every bad dream, we are there to fix it.

But then, one day, our children grow up. And suddenly, they don’t need us quite the same way anymore.

Many parents struggle with this, and it can hurt their relationship with their children. Adult children don’t need us. They also don’t want us to hover over them anymore.

We watch them spread their wings, ready to take flight.

As parents, it hurts. It’s scary. It’s hard to let go. We worry they might fall, fail, or make wrong choices. What if they mess up? But they need to learn on their own.

Our role changes. We can’t shield them from everything. But we can be there, a hand to hold when they need it most.

We can offer support, not judgment. Unconditional love, not criticism. We can believe in them, even when they doubt themselves. We should treat them with compassion and empathy, holding their hand when needed and staying quiet when it’s hardest. Adult kids deserve respect, not judgment for all their acts.

Everyone needs to be seen and accepted. When parents show unconditional acceptance, their loved ones can live happily. Criticism makes them shut down and turn their pain inward.

The message to grown-up children should be: ‘I love you. I see you. I believe in you.’ Even if their life isn’t what we had hoped for them.

Remember, parenthood lasts a lifetime, but parenting doesn’t. There comes a time to let your kids navigate on their own. We may have given them direction, but their journey is theirs to control.

As parents, we must step back and become loving witnesses. This can be painful, but it can lead to a beautiful friendship with our adult children. This legacy of love is more valuable than any material possessions. It’s a priceless gift.

Let’s acknowledge parenthood is a gift, a lifelong journey. But parenting itself does not last forever.

There comes a time to step back, to become their child’s biggest fan, their silent cheerleader.

It might be hard. But letting go can lead to something even more beautiful – a friendship built on love, trust, and acceptance.

Let your children know you are always there, believing in their ability to create a life they love.

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