Universe has its own way of talking to you

By Sunil Saxena

The year was 1998. I had a new job profile — to coordinate and move news reports across 19 editions of a multi-edition newspaper.

In a year’s time, I was completely burnt out and looking for change. As luck would have it, I got an offer to head a newspaper in my hometown.

I could not have asked for more. Higher salary, better perks, and the excitement of returning to my hometown after a gap of five years. That too with a top newspaper.

I said yes.

I was on Cloud 9 and went to my employer to inform him. My employer, with whom I had worked for five years and with whom I enjoyed a special relationship, heard me out.

“I am happy for you, Sunil,” he said. “It’s a good break, and I can’t stop you because you are going home,” he said, returning my resignation letter.

He then gently added: “You don’t have to give me notice. You can inform me one day before you leave, and my office will take care of the rest.”

I thanked him and returned to my room. Later, in the evening, I broke the news to my family. I thought everyone would be ecstatic. They were — to a small extent.

But they had reservations too. My children, who were finishing school, wanted to stay on. They were not in favour of change.

My wife too was reluctant. “You had a rough time when you last worked in your hometown,” she said. “The people and the mindsets in that city are different. Please don’t accept it. You may only end up getting hurt once again,” she pleaded.

My pleas to my family to change their views were met with stubbornness. They were convinced that I was making the wrong decision.

Destroyed by indecision: To join or not to join

Meanwhile, pressure mounted from my new employers. They wanted me to come and join at the earliest. To make matters worse, marching orders were given to the person I was to replace.

I felt terrible. A person had lost his job because of me. And here, I was dithering.

I felt I was being terribly unprofessional. I had made a commitment, and now I was under pressure to step back.

It was my call, and I wondered if I should succumb to my family’s pressure. The fierce tussle in my mind continued for more than a week.

I swung from one extreme to the other. One day I would decide to accept the offer; the next day I would reject it.

The stress took its toll, and I had to seek medical help. The doctors advised me to take a decision — one way or the other. My mind was getting affected.

Reasoning took a backseat. The battle in my head grew more and more intense. It seemed that there was some external force that was pushing me to step back.

Finally, against my better judgement, I rejected the offer.

A path I and my family was destined to follow

For years, I did not understand why I did so. I was convinced I had made a mistake, but still I took that decision.

It was only recently that I understood. It was not me who took the decision against my will; it was the universe which pushed me. My destiny and my future were tied to that city.

So, were the destinies of my children. They were destined to find their lives in that city. And they did so.

Even my life took a turn, and I changed my career path.

It was as if someone knew what was in store for me, and prodded me to overturn what should have been the right decision.

You too should not fight destiny. Accept what the universe puts in your way.

I realised this the hard way, and I bow to it.

This article was first published in Medium.com.

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