How I saved my mother from slipping into depression

By Jairaj Harshil

It was during the Covid period that I noticed changes in my mother after I moved in with my parents following the nationwide lockdown.

My mother was now retired after holding a well-paying job in Bengaluru as a research analyst. She had a successful corporate career. We were happy that she was now home and we hoped that she will get to pursue her passion of gardening.

I was working in Chennai and shifted in with my parents. I felt that it was a smart move as it would give me time to spend with my parents.

We are a small family comprising my parents, myself and my younger sister. I am unmarried so my parents had my complete attention as we are quite close knit. I share a special bond with my younger sister.

However, I was wrong.

In the weeks that I shifted to Bengaluru, I realised that my mother was behaving ‘normally’. She would wake up late – something that she had never done in her entire corporate career. She would be disinterested in watching television serials. She would not be interested in even knowing what my sister was cooking in the kitchen.

Initially, my father and my sister thought that this was all a part of her retired life routine. But, I was not taken in by what they said. I felt that something was wrong. Even her conversations with me seemed absent minded.

I also noticed that she was lying awake through the night. Each time I would get up at night, I would see her sitting quietly either in the drawing room or the dining table. I found that quite strange.

I discussed the issue with my father and my sister who agreed that it would be best if we consulted a doctor since we ourselves were not quite sure of this.

Due to the lockdown, we could not take her to the hospital. I tried an online consultation. The doctor immediately advised us to consult a psychologist. He said that after talking to my mother, he felt that it was more to do with her mental health and less about physical health.

The next consultation was with a psychologist, who diagnosed it as depression. He said that my mother had not been able to take her retirement well and had slipped into depression. He prescribed medicines.

Over a week after taking the medicines, my mother’s health began to gradually normalise. She was back to her cheerful self. She had even begun to sleep at night.

The only thing which I, my father and my sister had to do now was to ensure that she takes her morning and evening medicine on time.

In a fortnight’s time, my mother was virtually back to normal.

Things would not have been the same if I had not come home due to the lockdown. My father and my sister would have continued to think that my mother was suffering from post-retirement blues. That was partially correct.

She was suffering from depression which only a doctor could have diagnosed and regular medication had helped her return to normalcy.

It is important to closely observe your parents as they age since mental health issues may creep in. If the diagnosis happens on time, then there are medicines that can help.

Read: How I learnt to cope with the fear of my mother passing away