Don’t let caregiver burnout overwhelm you

By Sunil Saxena

Are you feeling tired, anxious, irritable or even depressed? Especially when you are taking care of a loved elder who is suffering from dementia, Alzheimer’s or a terminal illness. If yes, then you are heading for what is known as a caregiver burnout.

You may not realise it, but the stress has started telling upon you. You go through your daily caregiver routine without a second thought – managing medications, serving food, wheeling your loved one around, helping them exercise – trying your best to keep them fit.

But the result is the same. The decline of your loved one continues, irrespective of all your efforts. Your frustrations mount. You start wondering if you are doing enough. You start ignoring yourself; you stop going out; your meal times become elastic; your sleep patterns change.

You don’t realise you are running empty, feeling emotionally drained, stressed, exhausted, and helpless at what is happening to your life. If this is what you are experiencing, then you are heading for a caregiver burnout.

You are not alone. Every two out of three caregivers experience a caregiver burnout. In fact, the common joke is that if you don’t pull up in time then you will end up on the bed next to your loved one – needing physical, emotional and psychological support yourself.

The irony is that this is not just about physical or emotional toll.  It’s also about role confusion, expectations, and feeling like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders without any backup.

Your woes don’t end here. You also have to find the money to pick up hospital and nursing bills. Still, you are ready to put up with all this if only your loved one will recognise your effort. But sometimes, even this is not forthcoming. You feel so lonely and frustrated.

So, how do you deal with it? Well, self-care is the key. You’ve got to prioritize yourself just as much as the person you’re caring for. Talk to friends, speak to a psychologist or a healthcare provider. You must unburden yourself. Don’t bottle your frustrations. Carve out time for yourself and don’t forget to eat well and catch some sleep.

Even more important, step out of your house. Take a break. Go out on vacation. Nothing will happen while you are away. You only have to make sure that you have somebody who is trustworthy and can take care of your loved one while you are away.

It is important to fight caregiver burnout. The onus is on you. Don’t allow it to scar you.

Remember, this is not a sprint; it is a marathon. If you ever feel like it is getting too much, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Seriously, there is no shame in it.