Cleaning the home before death knocks on the door

By Rudraansh Naitik

My aunt, who had shifted to an apartment near our home after she lost her husband, turned 60 a couple of months back and we had a grand celebration to mark that milestone.

A few days later, she called up my father to say that she was feeling unwell. My father took her to hospital and they returned with some medications.

A fortnight after she again fell sick and the doctors advised her a battery of tests. The medical tests showed that she was suffering from cancer.

My aunt had no children and we were her immediate family. The news came as a shock for us, but she took it stoically. In fact, she said that it was to time to meet her husband.

Her whole demeanour changed after that. She began to spend time in prayers and started to put things in order. The first step – and perhaps a challenging one – was to start spring cleaning of her possessions. She didn’t want to burden my family by leaving behind the issue of distributing or selling off her worldly possessions.

Since we live in a gated society in Bengaluru, she got a lot of help from her neighbours.

We tried to dissuade her from giving away her possessions, but she wasn’t ready to listen to us. She insisted that she did not want to burden us after our death.

Anyway, she called all of us on a weekend and dramatically announced that we were free to take whatever we wanted from a room where she had placed stuff that she felt she no longer needed. It included the clothes of my departed uncle, which she had not given away after his death.

When I saw my uncle’s clothes, I immediately knew that my aunt had begun preparing for her own death in her own way. I vividly remembered that my aunt had told my father she would not part with my uncle’s clothes because it brought back too many memories.

She said that after we had our pick, she would ask the maids and security guards. Then she would ask her immediate neighbours to come in and take a look. Thereafter, she planned to put out a notice in the Resident Welfare Association group. If still, some things were left, she wanted to donate it.

We thought all that would be done in a week, or so. But, that was easier said than done. For one reason or the other, there was some delay. The delay was also caused due to her starting chemotherapy. She had agreed to that with much reluctance. In a couple of months, most of the household items were given away.

She then handed over a diary in which she had clearly written down about who was to get what after she had passed away. She handed over the diary to my father in our presence.

Even much later, when she was quite unwell, she would remind my father of his brotherly obligation once she was no more.

The spring cleaning of the flat that my aunt undertook showed to us how we really don’t need that much to lead a simple and austere life. Her generosity was a huge help to the maids and security guards of our society.

When the time came, my father did exactly as he had been instructed to do. My aunt had already done most of the work and after she left us, did we realise how important it is to prepare well for death when we know that we are quite unwell.

Read: How Digital Life Certificate has made life easy for pensioners