An independent grandmother now, she was once a timid child bride

BY ANOUSHKA SAXENA

Child marriage is banned by the law of the land today but was etched into the fate of many young girls at the time of Independence.

Ms Geeta Saxena, 69, was one such child bride whose palanquin left for her husband’s home at the tender age of thirteen.

“I was too naïve to grasp the concept of marriage, let alone child marriage,” says Geeta, and recalls, “One evening my father came home from work and announced that I was to immediately marry a guy, much elder to me, both in age and intellect.”

Even today Geeta remembers the significance of that moment. “I realized that Papa was handing over the reins of my life to somebody else,” she says with a lump in her throat.

Geeta spent the first 13 years of her life in Uttar Pradesh’s Budaun. After marriage, she moved to Gwalior where she lives even today.

Though a child bride, Geeta quickly settled into her new role. Her duties ranged from looking after the house to managing the kitchen and doing everything that was expected from a Bahu (daughter-in-law).

At the same time, she was keen to continue her education that had been interrupted by marriage. “I asked my husband if I could do so. But my mother-in-law would not hear of it. To her, the best place for a Bahu was in the kitchen.”

But Geeta was unfazed. “It took me several days to convince my in-laws to let me resume my education. I had to assure them that my studies in no way would affect my duties as a daughter-in-law or wife.”

Four years after marriage, Geeta embraced motherhood. Her challenge now was to take care of her child and complete her graduation simultaneously.

“It was not an easy task. Not only did I bring up my son single-handedly, but I also completed my Bachelor’s degree in Home Science, juggling between the duties of a student and a mother,” reflects Geeta nostalgically.

Geeta grew up firmly believing in virtues like respect for one’s elders and obedience to parents. But she also stood up for her rights. She had to do much convincing before her in-laws allowed her to step out of the house and start work as a school teacher.

Even today, Geeta enjoys teaching and spends her time tutoring young children.  She pursues singing as a hobby and takes pleasure in keeping herself busy all the time. In her words, “An elderly person’s mind when left empty, becomes a residence for devilish thoughts.”

The once child bride is a strong and independent granny today, Geeta has a message to impart to the young girls coming to terms with their identity. She urges them to single-mindedly focus on their education and develop a strong foundation that shall allow them to withstand life’s unforeseen challenges.

At the same time, she emphasises the importance of being respectful. “Pick upon every opportunity that allows you to stand up on your feet. Ignore all barbs or hurtful comments from family members, relatives or neighbours who are irked by your way of living. But be respectful. You should be you, and the rest shall fall in place.”

Read also:
My grandmother’s story of strength and resilience
Life isn’t over till it’s actually over: Revisiting my grandmothers’ life journey